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Last WordsIn the beginning you never want to let her go,
and so you don't for a long, long time.
You commit to bobby pins underfoot, mismatched
plates stacked like landmines,
long hairs that circle and clog the drain, filling the tub
with stagnant water.
You tell her something that you love about her
each night before you fall asleep,
until one day you look at her and realize that you
don't know what to say anymore.
“I am not happy.”
You whisper this to yourself once and then try to say it louder,
but the words won't cooperate.
Maybe a whisper is as loud as this thought can exist,
or maybe some words weren't meant to be spoken aloud,
but you still think them, and yes,
you whisper them to yourself
when she isn't listening.
Perhaps this is what you should have been telling her
each night as her hands searched for you in the darkness.
This isn't happening, you think,
unless it is.
You wonder if you owe her something,
like your heart, maybe, your red hooded sweatshirt,
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Astralseed has firmly routed herself at the heart of our community. In particular, Katy's efforts with groups such as Traditionalists, Digitalists, Unique-Equines and CRCommunityProjects to name a few are evident of her outstanding commitment and dedication. In addition, Astralseed can always be found on our chat network and throughout our forum. Katy has been promoting unseen artists via her ProjectPorkchop articles and group. We think her contributions to the site are long overdue recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for July 2014 to Astralseed. Read More